It is a well-known fact* that suspicious characters with opaque glasses always have blonde hair. What is it about these mystery men (and they are almost always men) that they should wear these other-worldly spectacles which not only hide their eyes completely, but seem to wrap around their heads as you walk around them? What kind of evil alien technology is at work here? And why are they all blonde? The Society for Unraveling the Eyeless Blonde Conspirarcy (SUSBEC) vows to unravel this mystery! But we need your help! Just by visiting this webpage, you are considered a Society for Unraveling the Eyeless Blonde Conspiracy Trainee. Our motto is "Everyone is a SUSBECT!"
*By "well-known," we refer the reader to reference himself or herself, who knows of this fact and therefore 100% of the reader's sampled population is aware of this fact. By "fact," we mean "opinion."
We'd like to hear from you our main SUSBECTs, to hear YOUR theories for this strange occurance.
Note that we are quite aware that "Society for Unraveling the Eyeless Blonde Conspiracy" does not spell "SUSBEC." This seems to be part of the conspiracy. (See "Possible Explanations"). You do not need to reinform us of this puzzling fact. Our researchers are attempting to unravel this problem as we speak, though a pre-pending lawsuit with Johnny Hart.
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