The Society for Unraveling the Eyeless Blonde Conspiracy
READERS' EXPLANATIONS (Possible explanations supplied by readers of this webpage)
We have compiled a list of possible explanations as supplied by our readers. These explanations will be futher researched in the future to determine if they are valid, or just so much inane ramblings thought up while sniffing household cleansers.
Incidentally, we had some problem with our email recently, which is why your submission may not appear on here. We suspect that anti-SUSBEC forces were conspiring with Microsoft Outlook to suck up the truth when we normally read our email with PINE. Feel free to resubmit your explanation if it does not appear here. (Also, if you would rather your explanation or your email not to appear here, please let us know and we will remove it).
From: "Sandra Kallander" Sandra_Kallander@spe.sony.com Sent: Wednesday, December 22, 1999 1:21 PM Obviously, there must be a connection to the amount of pigment and/or melatonin these susbects have. The light complexion probably indicates that their eyes are also sensitive to UV and UVB radiation. Whether this is genetic, genetically engineered or a function of their construction, I don't know (maybe all three). To support or disprove this theory, somebody should find out whether they make higher than usual purchases of sunscreen. Of course, once these subsects achieve any level of "cool" others around them may well emulate their style of dress, including sunglasses, as a sign of admiration regardless of whether they, themselves, are light-complected. Low levels of skin pigmentation aids in the production of Vitamin D. This indicates that they may come from regions with very little sunlight , possibly from computer labs or underground secret facility. Humbly submitted by Sandra Kallander firstname.lastname@example.org
From: "Stephen Cole" email@example.com Sent: Saturday, December 11, 1999 1:22 PM They all have connections to mighty powers capable of possibly destroying the world. And they have left no nook overlooked, for they have agents in both the realms of science and the arcane! Slowly the will spread further and further until they are everywhere and then they will strike and take over the world. Unless they already have, and are in place to stop the public from discovering their secret. Kind of like the Illuminati. And I would like to take this time to point out that the 'B' and the 'E' are backwards in the acronym. And my explanation for Fooker & Co. is that perhaps they are all blind and Fooker has bestowed upon them Extra-Sensory Powers allowing them to know what is happening around them. -Stephen
From: Joel Sent: Monday, December 27, 1999 11:23 AM Possible theory: Albinos have blonde hair and pink eyes maybe they're covering their eyes so they will not be mistaken for pinko communist and get black balled.